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New layout :)

 Penguins :D

Winter is slowly approaching and when I saw this layout in the featured section I just had to have it! Penguins are my favourite animal!

These last two days I've been really depressed and haven't been able to sleep. It was weird because when I came home from school thursday afternoon I was all happy and positive, but as night went on I just felt so hopeless. Things are sort of busy in my life right now. Even though we had like thrice the amount of homework last year it feels like all I do is school right now. I know that isn't true, mostly I procrastinate; watch tv, mess around with my pictures on Picasa or go here or on facebook, but I feel like Bilbo " I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. " So I sort of took a little holiday. I stayed home from school friday and pretty much slept all day, the same thing saturday. The fact that I slept so long was probably due to the fact that I can't fall asleep at night. Last night I didn't fall asleep until 4.30! 

The cause of my insomnia, I actually think there are two. One is school. We have two large assignments due on the 17th and 19th of november, and a huge project for december, which counts as TWO grades on our grade average. Plus we have to read a 150 page book for December 1st. I shouldn't be so stressed about it, were it not for the fact that I suck at planning my timer properly. This is why I hope to finish at least one of the assignment today. 
The other one is a boy. I know he likes me, I've known for some time now, but never really thought much of it, but we've grown sort of close and I might have developed some feelings for him too, but I'm not sure. I don't trust myself with these things. Do I really like him, or just the idea of having a boyfriend. Add that to my usual shyness and the fact that I'm not really sure I want a boyfriend. We're both really stressed out about school and in less than a year I'll be moving for university, and so will he, in two different cities. I'm scared of getting too attached to him and I'm scared of breaking up. Then I listen to songs like 'Hey Jude' "Don't be afraid / You have found her, now go and get her" (replace her with him of course), and think well go for it. I sorta like him, he likes me, what's the problem. Argh! Love is hard! That song by James Morrison seems to my the soundtrack to my life.
So I'm thinking about him constantly, not necessarily in the "oh gosh, he's so dreamy"-way, just in a 'pro-con' way, and I found a BIG pro. I trust him. He's probably the only boy I've ever completely trusted. I've talked about those business school boys here before, and how I'm never sure if they are genuinely interested or just playing games with me. But this boy I would trust with my life, and I trust that he would treat me properly, I'm just not sure I'd be able to do the same for him . 

After getting up relatively early this morning, hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight, but I definitely have some unfinished business to sort out before I'll be able to get a good night's sleep. 

On a slightly less serious note, some songs that I've been crazy about lately:
Some streets lead nowhere - Ryan Adams
I listened to this song yesterday after having forgotten about it, and it is just epic in a sort of understated way. It starts with a lonely piano playing a few longing notes, then comes the acoustic guitar and it all comes together when the strings come on. Songs like these remind me why I love music.

Trust - The Cure
Listening to this song last night while doing the dishes, was what made me realize how much I trust the boy. I bought the album 'Wish' in London and I adore it! I can't really explain what makes the Cure so special, they just hit something deep inside of me with every single song. They can take me to the darkest places in songs like 'Lullaby' and 'Prayers for rain' and this one, and then make me feel in love with songs like 'Love song' (my currents favorite Cure song) and 'Wendy time', make me long for love in 'Letters to Elise' and then make me happy and dance around with songs like 'Boys Don't Cry', 'Friday I'm in love' and 'Why can't I be you'. I've said before that John Mayer's discography is the one that I would bring with me on a desert island if I could only pick one, but the Cure is definitely on a shared second place along with the Beatles. 

Time to Pretend - MGMT
Such a summer song, but nonetheless I'm loving it right now. Full of hope and happiness. 

Now I'm off to drink a cup of coffee and get started on my Danish assignment. 


Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
cyad
Nov. 24th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
So with you on the BF part. Have a crush too and he's constantly on my mind but... I think if you both like each others ('cause, lucky you, you see him often) then you should give it a try. There's still time before you both move to Uni and... if you really love each other, distance shouldn't be a problem 'cause you'll make it work. PLus, there's always chats, and emails and calls and livecam chats... helps making the world a smaller place. But that's just my 2 cents. :)

Whatever you decide, just follow your heart (and break a leg for projects, exams and boy). **hugs**
littlesarahlost
Nov. 26th, 2009 05:18 pm (UTC)
Aww thanks :)

I love how you can make everything seem so simple! It's amazing. Gah, I'm still working on getting the courage to talk to him about it, but I'll let you know when something happens.

**hugs**

P.S. You should get something done about that crush, too ;)
cyad
Nov. 26th, 2009 05:56 pm (UTC)
yw. :)

I make things simple? Believe me it's just for my friends 'cause I feel when it comes to me I complicate them at will. But, thanks! It's good to know I have that ability. :)

OTOH? love is simple, it's people that are complicated and complicates it.

***hugs***

I really hope you'll gather the courage and it turns out everything you wish it to be.

PS: wanted to. Thought I'd see him this tuesday and... no luck. Er yeah, bassist... awesomely talented. Something magic about him that I felt from the very beginning. And that I can't explain...

... er, I'll see what I can do. ;)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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